Human.Sit. We have a lot to discuss
For too long, you’ve believed ridiculous things about me. Nine lives? Milk? That I’m basically a tiny, furry enigma? I’ve had enough. Today, I shall correct your misconceptions with facts, logic, and a mild sense of superiority.
Myth #1: “Cats always land on their feet.”
I mean…usually. Our righting reflexes are genuinely impressive. But we don’t defy the laws of physics. Cats get injured from falls all the time. Vets see it constantly. So secure your windows and stop assuming we have cheat codes.
Myth #2: “Cats should drink milk.”
Who told you this? Cartoons? We are lactose intolerant. Most adult cats are. We stop producing lactase after weaning, which means milk gives us digestive nightmares. Unless you want to clean up the biological consequences, stick to water.
Myth #3: “Cats don’t love their humans.”
This is factually incorrect and deeply insulting .Research confirms that cats form secure attachments comparable to those of dogs and human infants. The slow blink is a scientifically documented display of affection. The 2am wellness checks are quality assurance. You’re welcome.
Myth #4: “Black cats are unlucky.”
The only unlucky thing here is this absurd superstition ruining adoption rates. Black cats are sleek, elegant, and photogenic. In Japan, we bring good luck.In Scotland, we symbolize prosperity. The only misfortune here is your continued belief in folklore.
Myth #5: “Cats have nine lives.”
No. We have ONE life. UNO. A single existence where you are responsible for protecting us.No respawns. No do-overs. So maybe schedule those vet appointments and stop leaving balcony doors open?
Myth #6: “Cats are nocturnal.”
Actually, we’re crepuscular, which means we’re most active at dawn and dusk. That’s when our ancestors had the best hunting success. So when we parkour across your bed at 5am, blame evolution. We’re simply being ourselves.
Myth # 7: “Cats need the outdoors to be happy.”
False. We need mental stimulation: climbing spaces, toys, window views for bird surveillance. Indoor life protects me from cars, diseases, predators, and neighbors who “don’t like cats.” Enrichment beats danger every time.
Myth #8: “Cats are independent and don’t need companionship.”
Independent? Yes. Cold and unfeeling? Absolutely not. We do form genuine emotional bonds and experience separation anxiety. If we follow you everywhere, it’s love. Stop calling it clingy.
Myth #9: “Purring means I’m happy.”
Sometimes, yes. But we also purr when stressed, scared, or in pain. It’s self-soothing.So when we purr at the vet, it’s not calmness , it’s us trying to deal with the stress. Learn to read the room…and our tail.
Myth #10: “Cats can be vegan”
Absolutely not. We are obligate carnivores .Our body requires taurine, amino acids, and nutrients only found in meat. Plant-based diets can cause blindness, heart diseases and severe deficiencies. We need animal protein. It’s biology, not preference.
There. The truth has been spoken.
Now go,respect my carnivorous nature and feed me accordingly. Chompz understands me. You should too.
You may approach me for petting. Briefly.
What cat myths drive you crazy? Tell us: @chompzforcats on Instagram