Human. Pause whatever unimportant thing you’re doing. We need to talk about my heritage.
Before I graced your apartment with my presence, my ancestors ruled ancient Egypt with whiskered authority. We weren’t just “pets.” We were divine. And instead of casual neck scratches, we received temples, festivals, and legal protection that would make today’s biggest celebrities hiss with envy. Crowds of humans gathered just to honor us. Meanwhile, you can barely keep my water fountain full.
Meet Bastet: The Original Icon
Bastet was basically the Beyoncé of ancient Egypt. Started as a fierce lioness, evolved into a cat-headed goddess representing protection, health, fertility, music, and pleasure. Everything worth living for, really.
She had her own temple complex. Sold-out festivals. Devotees traveling from across Egypt just to honor her feline excellence. Even today, every house cat carries a tiny spark of that ancient, pampered divinity she made famous.
Historical Moments You Should Remember
Legal Protection: Killing a cat in ancient Egypt was a capital offense. A Roman visitor accidentally killed a cat around 60-56 BCE, and an angry mob showed up at his house. Not even fear of Roman military power could save him. A man died for killing a cat. Accidentally. Let that sink in.
Royal Treatment: Cats wore golden jewelry and ate from their owners’ plates. They were mummified in fine linen when they died. Families shaved their eyebrows in mourning. Three hundred thousand mummified cats were found at Bubastis alone. When’s the last time you mourned for me?
Military Strategy: Battle of Pelusium, 525 BCE. The Persian King Cambyses II painted images of Bastet on his soldiers’ shields and drove live cats ahead of his advancing army. The Egyptians essentially surrendered because they refused to fight and risk harming us.It wasn’t force that decided the outcome.Just the humans sticking to their values .
Why did they worship us? (Aside from the obvious)
Okay, so it wasn’t just because we’re gorgeous and mysterious. Our ancestors actually earned our divine status.They hunted the mice and rats that would’ve destroyed grain supplies which in an agricultural society meant the difference between eating and starving. They killed venomous cobras and kept the Egyptian families alive and fed.That’s how you go from a “helpful pet” to a “sacred protector” to an “actual goddess.” Through competence and consistent performance. Something to think about next time you half-heartedly scoop my litter box.
Modern Translation: Why do I still behave like royalty ?
You think I’m being difficult when I sit on your laptop? Truth be told, I’m not being difficult. I’m just historically accurate.
That judgmental stare when you’re late with breakfast? Divine inheritance.
The way I demand the exact center of your bed at night? Four thousand years of sleeping in temples.
When I knock your phone off the nightstand while looking you dead in the eye? I’m embodying that sacred duality the Egyptians found so spiritually profound.
Gentle yet fierce, affectionate yet completely uninterested in your Zoom meeting.
After millennia of being worshipped, mummified, legally protected, and treated like royalty, I’m not about to settle for lower standards.The ancient Egyptians understood that we deserve proper care,the right kind of food and absolute devotion. They didn’t have modern veterinary science, but they knew we were obligate carnivores with specific needs who deserved nothing but the best.
So here’s what I don’t understand: if my ancestors were sacred animals worthy of temples, gold jewelry, and legal protection.
Shouldn’t I be getting the same level of divine treatment as them?